Oct 28
2:36 PM
1/21 from every
Dear Barbara,

I’ve just watched your recent Whitney lecture on YouTube. I’d heard about it and I was really wishing I could have been one of the many faces looking lovingly at you from the audience, but I’m happy at least it was recorded.

Hi. It’s been a long time. I’ve been a bit quieter the recent two years, traveling less, doing a lot of therapy and generally taking care of myself. Recent months I’ve felt a new energy and am excited for it. I’ll be working on some big new projects and I feel ready.

Two years ago my grandmother died. She was like my sister and my mother too. And I helped her die. I cared for her over several weeks of her letting go, delivered morphine under her tongue in the final hours, and played her favorite CD as she slipped away with me lying on the floor beside her bed. The experience was profound. I’d lost several very good friends when I was young and I was never able to deal with the grief. So when Enid passed, and I was able to be present with her and for her death, the grief came to me strong. It still does. My recent name change to Every Ocean Hughes arises from the courage and energy in taking Enid’s name, Hughes, as my own.

It also started me on what has now been two years of research which I’ve been calling Queer Death and it will be the basis of the new performance and exhibitions I’m planning for the next three years. I’ve been addressing it from many angles, even attended a death doula workshop last April and am taking another this March.

So of course your lecture jumped out at me and I so wish I could have been there. Like always, your power and charm just overwhelms. It’s glorious, truly. It teaches. Your ability to ask for and weave this life event into the pleasure of your life is beautiful. And your bond with Florrie is a horizon I hope I’m able to meet with my own love Lawen. Thank you for modeling so many joyful powerful horizons.

I wonder, Barbara, if you would let me interview you. I think we could have a great conversation and I’m sure I could find a great place to share it. Probably many.

I send you a lot of love.